拒絕同床異夢

¹我雖然躺著，心裏卻清醒；我夢見愛人在門外敲門。²親愛的，讓我進來吧，我的愛人，我的鴿子。我的頭上滿是露水；我的頭髮被夜霧濕透了。³我已經脫了衣服，怎好再起來穿衣呢？我已經洗了腳，怎好再弄髒呢？⁴我的愛人從門縫伸手進來，因他的靠近，我心跳不已。（雅歌書5:1-4）現中

1. 拒絕反擊

² 親愛的，讓我進來吧，我的愛人，我的鴿子。我的頭上滿是露水；我的頭髮被夜霧濕透了⋯⋯⁴ 我的愛人從門縫伸手進來，因他的靠近，我心跳不已。（雅歌書5: 2，4）現中

要謹慎，誰都不可以惡報惡，要常常彼此關心，為別人的好處著想（帖撒羅尼迦前書5:15）現中

• 動之以情

²親愛的，我的頭上滿是露水；我的頭髮被夜霧濕透了。⋯⋯⁴ 我的愛人從門縫伸手進來，因他靠近，我心跳動不已。⁵我正要開門讓愛人進來；當我握著門柄時，我雙手滴下沒藥，指頭滴下沒藥汁。⁶我為我的愛人開門，可是他已經走了。我多麼想聽他的聲音！我尋找他，但找不到；我呼叫他，但聽不見回音。（雅歌書5: 2, 4-6）現中

²⁵作丈夫的，你們要愛自己的妻子，好像基督愛教會，為教會捨命一樣。³³丈夫必須愛妻子，像愛自己一樣，而妻子必須敬重丈夫。（以弗所書5: 25，33）現中

• 操控情緒

⁶我尋找他，但找不到；我呼叫他，但聽不見回音。⁷城裏巡邏的守夜者遇見了我；他們擊打我，把我打傷了；守衛城牆的人奪走我的披肩。（雅歌書5: 6-7）現中

我親愛的弟兄們，你們要知道，人人都應該快快地聽，慢慢地說，慢一點動怒。（雅各書 1: 19）新譯

• 直接溝通

耶路撒冷的女子們哪，請答應我。如果你們遇見我的愛人，告訴他，我因相思病倒了。（雅歌書5:8）

• 放下怨恨

你這女子中最美的佳麗啊，你的愛人比別人的更好嗎？他有甚麼特別的地方，值得我們答允你要求？（雅歌書5: 9）現中

• 著眼優點

¹⁰ 我的愛人英俊，健壯，是萬人中的佼佼者。¹¹ 他的頭像精金；他的頭髮像波浪，像烏鴉那麼黑。¹² 他的眼睛像溪水旁的鴿子，用奶汁洗淨，站在溪流邊。¹³他的兩頰像花圃那樣可愛，種滿了香草。他的嘴唇像百合花，給沒藥汁潤濕了。¹⁴ 他的雙手均勻，帶著鑲寶石的手鐲。他的軀幹像光滑的象牙，鑲嵌著藍寶石。¹⁵ 他的雙腿像白玉柱子，安在煉淨的金座上。他的儀表像黎巴嫩山那麼雄偉，像高聳的香柏樹。¹⁶ 他的口香甜可吻；他多麼使人迷醉！耶路撒冷的女子們哪，他就是我的愛人，我的伴侶。（雅歌書5: 10-16）現中

最要緊的是彼此切實相愛，因為愛能遮掩許多的罪。（彼得前書 4: 8）和合

思想及討論問題：

1. 為什么夫妻間會有同床異夢的情況出現？
2. 我們處理的方法有那些偏差？
3. 雅歌書中的信息，你最受惠的是甚麼？
4. 雅歌書啟示的原則中，那一個你需要特別學習？
5. 我們可以怎樣更健康哋處理人與人之間的磨擦？

Refuse to dream a different dream

Rev. Abraham Chiu

¹  I slept, but my heart was awake. A sound! My beloved is knocking. ² “Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one, for my head is wet with dew, my locks with the drops of the night.” ³ I had put off my garment; how could I put it on? I had bathed my feet; how could I soil them? ⁴  My beloved put his hand to the latch, and my heart was thrilled within me. (Song of Songs 5: 1-4) ESV

1. Refuse to fight back

²  “Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one, for my head is wet with dew, my locks with the drops of the night.”…..⁴ My beloved put his hand to the latch, and my heart was thrilled within me. (Song of Songs 5: 2, 4)

¹⁵ See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. (1 Thessalonians 5: 15) ESV

• Appeal for compassion

² My love, my head is wet with dew, my locks with the drops of the night.”…. ⁴ My beloved put his hand to the latch, and my heart was thrilled within me. ⁵ I arose to open to my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with liquid myrrh, on the handles of the bolt. ⁶ I opened to my beloved, but my beloved had turned and gone. My soul failed me when he spoke. I sought him, but found him not; I called him, but he gave no answer. (Song of Songs 5: 2, 4-6) ESV

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5: 25, 33) ESV

• Control emotions

⁶ I sought him, but found him not; I called him, but he gave no answer. ⁷ The watchmen found me as they went about in the city; they beat me, they bruised me, they took away my veil, those watchmen of the walls. (Song of Songs 5: 6-7) ESV

¹⁹ Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. (James 1: 19) ESV

• Communicate directly

⁸ I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved, that you tell him I am sick with love. (Song of Songs 5: 8) ESV

• Let go of resentment

⁹ What is your beloved more than another beloved, O most beautiful among women? What is your beloved more than another beloved, that you thus adjure us? (Song of Songs 5: 9) ESV

• Focus on the good

¹⁰ My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand. ¹¹ His head is the finest gold; his locks are wavy, black as a raven. ¹² His eyes are like doves beside streams of water, bathed in milk, sitting beside a full pool. ¹³ His cheeks are like beds of spices, mounds of sweet-smelling herbs. His lips are lilies, dripping liquid myrrh. ¹⁴ His arms are rods of gold, set with jewels. His body is polished ivory, bedecked with sapphires. ¹⁵ His legs are alabaster columns, set on bases of gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as the cedars. ¹⁶ His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. (Song of Songs 5: 10-16) ESV

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4: 8) ESV

Reflections and Discussion Questions:

1. Why do couples have different dreams in the same bed?
2. What are the deviations in our processing methods?
3. What are you most benefited from the message in the Song of Songs?
4. Among the principles revealed in the Song of Songs, which one do you need to learn in particular?
5. How can we better deal with friction between people in a healthier way?